I am not happy in this church
My mother prays for a miracle
Day by day with the same mundane cry
As her voice hides behind songs and repetitive prayers
She repeats a language I cannot understand
One my enslaved family had to mutter
Because all they had was hope.
Generations have passed
And we are still speaking
Speaking through songs
Speaking in tongues
Speaking together and praying alone
As we crossed rivers and revolution
All we had was hope.
Generations have passed
And my people endure by walking
On hot soil stitching memories under their feet
My great-grandmother one of them
Humming the tune “wade in the water, children”
Against our slave master
Asking for a new Moses, a new Elijah, the return of Christ
Hope.
Generations have passed
And my grandmother continues humming
The same melody—a melancholy pain
Still constrained living as a domesticated black woman
My grandmother never prayed
But she had hope.
Generations have gone by
And now my mom starts humming
Like my grandmother and
My great-grandmother and
My great-great-great-grandmother
She stays begging for hope.
My mom tried to teach me this ancestral song
But I don’t sing
I’m sorry father I haven’t been singing
I haven’t been hoping or longing
I have been hating, avenging and writing
I will elevate my voice higher on these canvases
Rewriting our histories—one we can finally read
And the fact that I’m still rebelling
Whereas the women in my life
Have only been hoping for scraps beneath their feet
Is testimony that we have removed ourselves
From your grace to be your slaves
Father in heaven, forgive me,
Amen.
Danie Maxelus, a fourth-year English student and dedicated advocate for women’s rights, is a black immigrant Haitian woman with a profound passion for writing and reading. Danie Maxelus developed an interest in Carleton University’s writing program when she immigrated to Canada, and as a student, she continues to pursue her passion for writing. Beyond academic pursuits, Danie aspires to contribute to the university community through her advocacy, seamlessly integrated into her writing. Enclosed are three pieces that showcase her creativity and commitment to storytelling, the first is Ancestral Song. The second is The Story of my Fall. And last, The Prayer of a Sinner. Despite lacking prior published works, she is enthusiastic about learning and evolving as a writer within the Carleton community.
