stretched out honeyed wavelengths
flow from the “deep sleep meditation” playlist
through the tangled earbuds
and slowly drip, medicinal,
into my left ear
my eyes have forgotten their desperate micromanaging brain
they frantically spasm, left to right
unseeing, blurred, a fluttery bird
an alert
ticking fingers
pinky tensed, grotesquely hooked, trying to get away from its siblings
thoughts crowded in their little bone enclosure
a million indistinguishable creatures multiplying
no room to run
a wolfed down piece of naan,
thickly smeared in salted margarine,
does tight laps in my stomach
along with my evening dose,
which was ingested precisely at midnight.
they are obligated to swim together
a pair of black and white koi fish
that keep the balance of my world
i whimpered some soothing words
to my imprecise, quivering hands
as they dropped the glass of water twice
into the filmy sink
before bringing the rim to my lips
i prayed to my little pill:
small curled up insect,
baby tempering pill bug,
crawl down my esophagus and burst into a cloud
dusting dulling pollen onto the grooves of my brain
and the tubes of my heart
Li Conde is a third-year Social Work student with a minor in English. Their work often explores themes of mental illness and healing. It has been published in Sumac, Bywords, and flo. and won second place in the George Johnston Poetry Prize.
